Individuals who have recently separated from a partner are likely to be emotional for the first few months or longer after a break-up. When we hurt, when a relationship has changed, or is severed, it can bring up feelings of anger, resentment, confusion, fear, shame, and anxiety. Active self-compassion can help us work through these feelings and heal. We deserve the same love, the same compassion that we give to others. Especially when we are feeling intense emotions. Self-compassion makes this easier.
Compassion is love in action. Most of us think of it as something we do or feel for another person. It is the noticing and expression of our concern for the suffering of others. Compassion is essential to healing. We tell our friends how sorry we are for their hurt; we offer hugs and sympathy – we let them know they are not alone. This loving compassion creates close relationships and helps people to heal. Self-compassion is applying this loving compassion to ourselves.
Mindful self-compassion has become an expanding field of study. There are several books, Ted Talks, and trainings available. I was introduced to the concept via a training with Kristen Neff for health care workers and learned more by reading her books. The benefits of practicing regular, mindful self-compassion include:
Decreased anxiety, depression, and fear of failure
Higher emotional intelligence
High feelings of self-worth and well being
It increases happiness
…we deserve the same love, the same compassion that we give to others.