I am so distracted after my break up. I’m having trouble concentrating at work and I feel numb. What can I do to get my focus back?
Dear Distracted and Numb
You are not alone! Many people feel numb after a breakup. It takes time to heal from the loss of your relationship.
Grieving and loss can make it difficult for us to sleep, and lack of sleep can make us feel zombie like, numb and easily distracted. Be sure you are getting the sleep that you need. Lowering the temperature, removing all light from your room, and giving yourself a slow down time 40 minutes before bed can be helpful. If these don’t work, consider over the counter sleep solutions or melatonin supplements. Be sure to read the directions and take them only as directed. You may also want to speak with your physician.
Find time speak with a close friend or relative about your breakup. Sometimes sharing our feelings out loud, getting them out of our head, can dispel some of the stress and help us to let go of any false narratives. Think about finding a therapist to help you sort your feelings. There is a link on the main Dear CeCe page that can help you find one in your area.
If your breakup is fresh, it may be a good idea to take a day or two off of work to catch up on your sleep, or to process the breakup. Additionally, I found that when I have strong emotions that I cannot deal with in the current moment, I can take myself out of them by making my brain focus logically. I may accomplish this by counting paperclips or ceiling tiles. What works best for me, is describing in great detail a painting or the view out my window. Once you can unleash your logical brain, you’ll find the emotions recede. Then you can tackle one task at a time. Don’t worry about all the work you have to do. Focus on just the present task.
If your inability to focus lasts for more than a short time, be sure to see your doctor to get a physical checkup.
Break up are hard. Be kind to yourself. I wish you all the best. You will heal.