fbpx
  • Search
Content • Community • Compassion
Woman hugging herself

How to Enjoy Being Alone

Let go of any negative learned belief that single people are not as happy as those who are in a couple.

For those getting out of a long-term relationship, the thought of living alone can be daunting. Getting past the societal stereotypes and associated “shaming” messages can be a hidden obstacle. Examining these messages, tossing them out the window with all other negative influences is step one. Being alone is a valid lifestyle choice. Embracing your singleness and cultivating alone time can boost your creativity and happiness.

Believe that being single is better than okay.

Let go of any negative learned belief that single people are not as happy as those who are in a couple. Our culture is full of messages that couple hood is the ideal state for adults. This can leave those who are single feeling less than okay.

Popular movies and books from Harry Potter to Jack Reacher include romance and coupling up. Media fills our heads with the idea that every pot has a lid, and “There is someone out there for everyone.” These sayings underscore the feeling that coupling up is the end game for happiness. That is not true for everyone. We’ve all heard the adage “Being alone is better than being in a bad relationship.” That is interesting considering only 64% of married people consider themselves happily married. There is research to support that being single is better than being in even a neutral relationship. Participants both married and unmarried answered questions to measure their overall sense of positive and negative feelings about their life, as well as recent positive and negative feelings. Additionally, they were asked to measure the overall sense of meaning participants gave to their lives. One of the significant findings: “The people in committed romantic relationships did not experience more positive feelings—overall or during the previous day—than the single people did. They also did not experience fewer negative feelings or any more of a sense of meaning. They were only doing better in one way: they said they were more satisfied with their lives” It is possible that outcome was based more in the value our society places on coupling up. 

…whatever you chose to do, no matter how long you choose to do it, make sure it is something that refreshes you.

Even if your long-term desire is to be in a relationship again, believe and accept that you can be single and happy!  Embrace your singlehood and learn to enjoy being alone.

Being alone is the safe place to try new things.

Lifelong learning, learning new skills increases our happiness. Living alone give us time to cultivate hobbies and become proficient in new skills. As we learn, we live in the moment, often completely focused on the new skills. Living in the moment has been tied to greater happiness. Below is a list of new skills you may want to cultivate. Do searches on YouTube for instructional videos that can help you to learn these skills.

free hand painted text
  • Learn a musical instrument
  • Learn a new dance
  • Start yoga
  • Try your hand at painting, pour painting, abstract painting, sketching
  • Improve your baking and cooking skills

Prioritize your wants and desires – learn what makes you happy

This requires you to really think about what you like to do and how you like to spend the time you have alone. Writing it out, creating a plan to add more of the things you like to do will create more and more enjoyment in your life. Below are suggestions that can serve as a primer for your thought process.

What activities make you happy?

  • Shopping
  • Running
  • Walking
  • Team sports in local leagues
  • Attending sporting events
  • Attending local or regional plays
  • Weekly movies
  • Volunteering
  • Solving puzzles
  • Video Games
A person sitting near a couch

We spend upwards of 40 hours a week around our job and earning money. Update your resume. Look at your skill set and prioritize the skills you enjoy using. Plan to use more of the skills you enjoy as part of your job, even if that means looking for a new job, going back to school, or starting a business of your own.

Take this time to nurture, know and love yourself

In your alone time each day, spend time reflecting on the good things that happened in the last 24 hours.

  • Create and keep a gratitude journal, this can train your mind to always be looking at the positive.
  • Make time to pamper yourself in some way within every 24-hour period.
    • That could be 5 minutes of laying down, relaxing, cucumbers on your eyes, clearing you mind and just being in the moment.
    • Maybe it’s making time for a manicure, pedicure, or massage
    • Take a walk in nature

Whatever you chose to do, no matter how long you choose to do it, make sure it is something that refreshes you. This is how you can actively love yourself each day.

Summary

Being alone is a gift.  It’s a time to focus on you and live in the moment. It’s prioritizing yourself and creating balance between all that you give to others and making time to love yourself.  You need to be nurtured too!

little bird

Content, Community, Compassion and Gift Registry for the Newly Uncoupled

Content, Community, Compassion and Gift Registry for the Newly Uncoupled
Read More
Content, Community, Compassion and Gift Registry for the Newly Uncoupled

7 Tips from the Single Mom’s Parenting Handbook

If you’re struggling as a single mother after you’ve separated from your partner, read this…
Read More
7 Tips from the Single Mom’s Parenting Handbook

The Importance of Communicating with Your Ex

Communicating with your ex can be tricky with or without kids. Here are some reasons…
Read More
The Importance of Communicating with Your Ex

6 Tips from the Single Dad’s Parenting Handbook

Don’t let a divorce come in the way of you being the best dad ever….
Read More
6 Tips from the Single Dad’s Parenting Handbook

Co-parenting: How To Make It Work!

Co-parenting can be quite tough but if we are able to find a balance, it…
Read More
Co-parenting: How To Make It Work!

Life After Divorce or a Split: How to Create a Fresh Start?

Life after divorce or breakup should not be the end of everything good. Learn how…
Read More
Life After Divorce or a Split: How to Create a Fresh Start?

Breaking News About Your Break-Up

Did you recently part ways with your partner don’t know how to inform you friends…
Read More
Breaking News About Your Break-Up

How to Mend Your Heart

Learning how to mend a broken heart doesn’t come easily after a split. Here are…
Read More
How to Mend Your Heart

The Best Tips for Coping with Divorce or Separation

Uncoupling can take a toll on your emotional and mental health. Learn how to move…
Read More
The Best Tips for Coping with Divorce or Separation

Splits the second time around, Step Families: Making Things Work for the Kids

Wondering how to divorce a blended family? Here are some practical steps to make the…
Read More
Splits the second time around, Step Families: Making Things Work for the Kids

Emotional Stages of Divorce (& Uncoupling)

Life after divorce is not easy. Yet, acceptance and relief will comfort you once the…
Read More
Emotional Stages of Divorce (& Uncoupling)

How Divorce Affects your Pet(s)?

Wondering how divorce affects your pet (s)?  Prepare yourself for custody battles, separation anxiety, and…
Read More
How Divorce Affects your Pet(s)?

Dear CeCe – Is My Therapist Normal?

Dear CeCe, I have been seeing a therapist to work at getting on with my…
Read More
Dear CeCe – Is My Therapist Normal?

Rom-Coms – Good, Bad or Indifferent on Our Relationship Expectations

Watching rom coms can effect how we measure our romantic relationships
Read More
Rom-Coms – Good, Bad or Indifferent on Our Relationship Expectations

7 Things to Consider Before Getting Back with an Ex

Tips for understanding your motives and how to make it work.
Read More
7 Things to Consider Before Getting Back with an Ex

Dear CeCe – Not Sure He’s a Match for Me

Dear CeCe, I’ve been divorced for over 3 years and have just gone on my…
Read More
Dear CeCe – Not Sure He’s a Match for Me

Dealing with Post Separation Loneliness

Dealing with Post Separation Loneliness. Ways to cope and connect for those newly separated.
Read More
Dealing with Post Separation Loneliness

Dear CeCe – Their Mom is Breaking All the Rules

Dear CeCe, Before our separation, my ex and I kept the kids on a pretty…
Read More
Dear CeCe – Their Mom is Breaking All the Rules

Dear CeCe – My Ex Isn’t Acting Like a Dad

Dear CeCe, My ex and I split up over a year ago. He paid child…
Read More
Dear CeCe – My Ex Isn’t Acting Like a Dad

Starting Over in the Same Bedroom – Time for a Refresh

Get rid of the old memories by making quick changes in your bedroom.
Read More
Starting Over in the Same Bedroom – Time for a Refresh

Dear CeCe – Not Ready Yet

Dear CeCe, I’ve been dating a man for about month now – maybe 6 or…
Read More
Dear CeCe – Not Ready Yet

Healing Music (Part 2) –Songs to Help You Move on From Your Ex

Releasing negative emotions through powerful moving on songs helps.
Read More
Healing Music (Part 2) –Songs to Help You Move on From Your Ex

close
Splitvil Little Bird

Subscribe to Splitsvil.net!

Get weekly notifications
of Splitsvil's latest posts!

We don’t spam!
Unsubscribe anytime.

Written by
Robin & Heather
View all articles

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Written by Robin & Heather

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Splitvil Little Bird

Subscribe to Splitsvil.net!

Get weekly notifications of
Splitsvil's latest posts!

We don’t spam!
Unsubscribe anytime.

%d bloggers like this: