Dear CeCe,
My ex, who moved out on me, drunk booty called me and left a voicemail telling me he still loved me and wanted to see me. I still love him, but I think he just wanted to have sex. Luckily my best friend was with me and convinced me not to call him back immediately. Should I call him back and be honest?
– Dealing with Drunk Booty Call!
Dear Dealing with Drunk Booty Call,
You are strong person to consider giving him another chance. Sometimes after a breakup it’s more difficult to have an open and loving heart. Good for you!
There are many ways to deal with this. Be prepared to hear that “the text was a mistake, he was just drunk.” Accept it at face value even though it hurts. He has to admit his feelings if he has them. You can’t force him to do that. You can then share you don’t appreciate drunk texts and share this link from the Today show, with apps that will test your sobriety before sending a text.
If the text wasn’t a mistake, think seriously about how you feel about your ex. Be sure that you are not experiencing nostalgia or leading with only the positive memories. Before even caring about what he wants – you deserve to know what you really want. Be sure you are looking at the relationship in totality, good and bad. You shared that he moved out on you. If you choose to reach out to him, you will need to address the breakup. You deserve honesty. Was he honest and open about why he broke it off, and will he be able to discuss and explain why his feelings have changed?
If after considering your feelings, you believe you still want him back, I would suggest a face-to-face meeting, possibly over dinner. This can be set up as a reply to the text. Let him know you want to understand what prompted him to send it. If he agrees to the dinner, he can clarify for you what he really wants. Only then, knowing yourself and knowing where he stands can you make the decision about how you want to move forward. If you want to move forward after the conversation, I would suggest moving slowly.
I wish you the best of luck! I love your willingness to be vulnerable, but I also want you to take care of yourself.
CeCe
