My live-in partner and I split 3 months ago, after being together for 5 years. We had no children together, but often had his now 9-year-old daughter. We were close to each other. I would love to see her or at the least, let her know I am here if she ever needs me. Unfortunately, I broke it off with her father because we grew apart and none of my efforts to rekindle our closeness worked. He took it very badly and is not taking my calls or answering my texts. Is it unreasonable to ask to see her?
– I still want to see my ex’s daughter
Dear I Still Want to See My Ex’s Daughter
I completely understand why you would want to see this young girl you have a relationship with. Presumably you’ve been a parental figure in her life, probably for as long as she can remember. Your desire to see her is completely reasonable.
In the state of hurt your ex is in, it doesn’t sound like he is open to keep including you in their lives. You may have to bide your time and continue to reach out to her father until he responds. Another suggestion is to write a letter to your ex to let him know that you are sorry he is in pain, and that was never your intent. Also mention or remind him how much you love and care for his daughter and that you’d like to see her. You might even include an open letter to her. A light letter, letting her know you are thinking about her, loving her still and giving her your contact information with an invitation to call you anytime. Ask your ex in his letter, to give it to her and encourage her to call if she is missing you or feeling hurt because of your absence.
The letter, calls and texts are not sure-fire ways of getting your ex to let you back in his daughter’s life. The most you can do is to try and keep trying. In some states, such as California, Step Parents have some legal standing. You can check the statutes in your state and/or check with a lawyer to see if this is true in your state.
Good luck! My thoughts and best wishes are with you, your ex and step daughter.