fbpx
  • Search
Content • Community • Compassion
Depressed woman in bed with hand on forehead

Dealing with Post Separation Loneliness

No one needs to accept loneliness as a way of life.

It’s not unusual to feel lonely after a breakup. The longer you have been with someone, the greater your sense of loss and very possibly a greater sense of loneliness as well. On top of that, we are still getting back to normal after the Covid-19 shutdowns. The isolation that we all experienced in varying degrees around the world, the loss of contact with friends and acquaintances on a regular basis has many people feeling lonely. When those circumstances coincide with one another, it can be a recipe for acute loneliness.

1.      Loneliness is not the same as being alone

Many people treasure time alone. It’s a time to be creative, relax or simply veg out. Many people spend large amounts of time alone contentedly. Their self-esteem can be high. When they decide they want company, they go out and get it.

…for those who are newly single, it can be good to meet up with those who are single too. These groups can help you to meet people of both sexes, make new friends and potential partners.

Loneliness on the other hand often includes sadness. It’s a sense of not wanting to be alone. Wanting company, companionship, or more friends, but not having them. Those who are lonely for long periods of time can become depressed, irritable and they may grow to be self-centered – unable to see past their own loneliness. In long term cases of loneliness and depression a cycle of isolation, despair and self-blame can set it.

No one needs to accept loneliness as a way of life. Each of us has the power to make changes to our life that will bring us greater happiness.

2.      Help others, help yourself

One of the best ways to step out of loneliness is to focus your energy on helping others. This can be as simple as calling on neighbors and friends and offering to help with projects, errands, etc. I and others have made lifelong friends, by stepping up to help a stranger. If you are shy and find approaching people you don’t know difficult, that’s okay. Volunteering with local organizations can also introduce you to new people. Organizations that are always in need include, food banks, animal shelters, soup kitchens as well as state and national parks. There seem to be so many natural disasters in the last few years. Helping to collect and distribute food, clothing, blankets, and water requires many people. Other ways to help can be in filling sandbags, boarding up windows and other pre-storm precautions. I have a good friend who regularly drives during stormy winter nights to help people stuck in the snow. As a volunteer, your new friends may be those who work beside you, or those you are working to help.

Woman handing man a box of food

3.      Join a local club or organization

For those who are newly single, it can be good to meet up with those who are single too. These groups can help you to meet people of both sexes, make new friends and potential partners. A simple browser search, using the term “groups for newly single people,” provided results for three different meet up groups, multiple support groups, including in person, or online groups.

Other opportunities abound. Most communities have adult sports programs. Just show up and be assigned to a team. Walking groups can be found online as well. Walking can lift your spirits, and conversations seem to happen naturally. Specialty stores, such as camera stores, yarn stores, and craft stores often have classes and group events that you can take part in as well.

4.      Reach out to family and friends

Now that Covid isolation has ended, reach back out to those who’s company you enjoyed in the past. Invite people for dinner, a game night or even a group movie. People are missing you as much as you are missing them. Make the first step – maybe they are waiting for YOUR call.

Diverse group of people gathered around a game board

5.      If your loneliness is severe, short- or long-term therapy can help

Often human nature is to either blame others or blame ourselves when we hurt. As mentioned earlier, prolonged periods of isolation or loneliness can cause our self-esteem to plummet. When that happens, negative self-talk, feelings of isolation, and unworthiness can plague us and cause us to isolate even more. Finding a therapist, support groups, and actively practicing self-compassion can all help to get out from under the negativity. It can help you to love yourself. You deserve it. No one should be allowed to get emotionally bullied, by anyone, including themselves.

Summary

Take control of  your life as much as you can. Don’t suffer in loneliness. Get active, be compassionate with yourself and chart a path that will create new and fun experiences and bring people back into  your life.

little bird

Content, Community, Compassion and Gift Registry for the Newly Uncoupled

Content, Community, Compassion and Gift Registry for the Newly Uncoupled
Read More
Content, Community, Compassion and Gift Registry for the Newly Uncoupled

7 Tips from the Single Mom’s Parenting Handbook

If you’re struggling as a single mother after you’ve separated from your partner, read this…
Read More
7 Tips from the Single Mom’s Parenting Handbook

The Importance of Communicating with Your Ex

Communicating with your ex can be tricky with or without kids. Here are some reasons…
Read More
The Importance of Communicating with Your Ex

6 Tips from the Single Dad’s Parenting Handbook

Don’t let a divorce come in the way of you being the best dad ever….
Read More
6 Tips from the Single Dad’s Parenting Handbook

Co-parenting: How To Make It Work!

Co-parenting can be quite tough but if we are able to find a balance, it…
Read More
Co-parenting: How To Make It Work!

Life After Divorce or a Split: How to Create a Fresh Start?

Life after divorce or breakup should not be the end of everything good. Learn how…
Read More
Life After Divorce or a Split: How to Create a Fresh Start?

Breaking News About Your Break-Up

Did you recently part ways with your partner don’t know how to inform you friends…
Read More
Breaking News About Your Break-Up

How to Mend Your Heart

Learning how to mend a broken heart doesn’t come easily after a split. Here are…
Read More
How to Mend Your Heart

The Best Tips for Coping with Divorce or Separation

Uncoupling can take a toll on your emotional and mental health. Learn how to move…
Read More
The Best Tips for Coping with Divorce or Separation

Splits the second time around, Step Families: Making Things Work for the Kids

Wondering how to divorce a blended family? Here are some practical steps to make the…
Read More
Splits the second time around, Step Families: Making Things Work for the Kids

Emotional Stages of Divorce (& Uncoupling)

Life after divorce is not easy. Yet, acceptance and relief will comfort you once the…
Read More
Emotional Stages of Divorce (& Uncoupling)

How Divorce Affects your Pet(s)?

Wondering how divorce affects your pet (s)?  Prepare yourself for custody battles, separation anxiety, and…
Read More
How Divorce Affects your Pet(s)?

Dear CeCe – Is My Therapist Normal?

Dear CeCe, I have been seeing a therapist to work at getting on with my…
Read More
Dear CeCe – Is My Therapist Normal?

Rom-Coms – Good, Bad or Indifferent on Our Relationship Expectations

Watching rom coms can effect how we measure our romantic relationships
Read More
Rom-Coms – Good, Bad or Indifferent on Our Relationship Expectations

7 Things to Consider Before Getting Back with an Ex

Tips for understanding your motives and how to make it work.
Read More
7 Things to Consider Before Getting Back with an Ex

Dear CeCe – Not Sure He’s a Match for Me

Dear CeCe, I’ve been divorced for over 3 years and have just gone on my…
Read More
Dear CeCe – Not Sure He’s a Match for Me

Dealing with Post Separation Loneliness

Dealing with Post Separation Loneliness. Ways to cope and connect for those newly separated.
Read More
Dealing with Post Separation Loneliness

Dear CeCe – Their Mom is Breaking All the Rules

Dear CeCe, Before our separation, my ex and I kept the kids on a pretty…
Read More
Dear CeCe – Their Mom is Breaking All the Rules

Dear CeCe – My Ex Isn’t Acting Like a Dad

Dear CeCe, My ex and I split up over a year ago. He paid child…
Read More
Dear CeCe – My Ex Isn’t Acting Like a Dad

Starting Over in the Same Bedroom – Time for a Refresh

Get rid of the old memories by making quick changes in your bedroom.
Read More
Starting Over in the Same Bedroom – Time for a Refresh

Dear CeCe – Not Ready Yet

Dear CeCe, I’ve been dating a man for about month now – maybe 6 or…
Read More
Dear CeCe – Not Ready Yet

Healing Music (Part 2) –Songs to Help You Move on From Your Ex

Releasing negative emotions through powerful moving on songs helps.
Read More
Healing Music (Part 2) –Songs to Help You Move on From Your Ex

close
Splitvil Little Bird

Subscribe to Splitsvil.net!

Get weekly notifications
of Splitsvil's latest posts!

We don’t spam!
Unsubscribe anytime.

Written by
Robin & Heather
View all articles

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Written by Robin & Heather

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Splitvil Little Bird

Subscribe to Splitsvil.net!

Get weekly notifications of
Splitsvil's latest posts!

We don’t spam!
Unsubscribe anytime.

%d bloggers like this: