I’ve been divorced for over 3 years and have just gone on my first date. The date was a joint “date” with a good friend, her husband and her husband’s friend. My friends told me what a great guy he is, but something about him is bugging me and I can’t figure out what it is. They say I’m just being picky. He’s nice looking and has a good job. He seemed nice enough. My friend told me he wants to ask me out for a date on our own.
What should I do? Should I trust my instincts and say no? I might risk alienating my friend’s husband.
– Not Sure He’s a Match for Me
Dear Not Sure He’s a Match for Me,
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out why we get the feelings we do from the people we meet. My general rule of thumb is to trust your instincts. However, if this your first date in three years, it’s possible that the feelings you are having aren’t about the other person, but possible the anxiety or fear of dating in general. Three years is a long time.
If you feel uneasy for any reason about seeing him one on one, my suggestion would be to ask your friend and her husband to join you. Pick an activity, like bowling, darts, trivia night, or even a game night for the four of you. This will give you and him a chance to get to know each other in a low pressure situation.
There is also an article on the Splitsvil website that might help you to figure out what might be bothering you: https://splitsvil.net/2022/05/16/dating-after-divorce-10-red-flag-warnings/.
Good luck and welcome back to the world of dating. Enjoy!