A position at my company just opened. My ex would be perfect at it. It would also give her a considerable income boost. Should I recommend her? It would be great for her and great for the company, but we would be interacting more. We would be in different departments and our interactions wouldn’t be every day.
I broke up with her as I simply wasn’t happy anymore and I am afraid she might misinterpret my recommendation and get the wrong impression.
I’m not sure what to do!
– Should I help my ex get a job at my workplace?
Dear Should I Help My Ex Get a Job at My Workplace,
This sound like a plot for a fun rom-com movie! In all seriousness – good for you. I love to hear about an “ex” who still wants the best for their former partner! I have always believed that love is love. It may transform and take different shapes, but never goes away. You are living proof!
Tricky situation. IAt a small company in which you will be near one another every day, my advice would be no, don’t recommend her. In a close space, if you were unhappy together before, you could easily become unhappy in your workplace. Take care of you!
A bigger company, in which you won’t run into each other often, is something to think about. The red flags that would still make me say no include:
• She gossips – you wouldn’t want her to share any of your personal information.
• Any residual anger or bitterness on her part that might seep out.
• Your ex still wants you, isn’t over you or doesn’t want to be over you.
• You have shared sensitive info with her about co-workers in the past.
It would also be improper if you have any influence in hiring her, or she falls under your leadership, even if there are layers of managers between you. Finally, if you still think it’s a good idea, bring it up to her, be blunt and honest and about the positives for her and your company. Reiterate that you are not romantically interested in her, or in getting back together. Be firm and state that should she get the job, this will not lead to a reconciliation. If you feel she believes you and is interested in the job, make the recommendation.
Good luck. Listen to your gut, listen to your heart. You’ll make the right decision.