My former boyfriend showed up drunk and dropped off the cat we use to share. He got to keep him when we split. He said he didn’t want her anymore. He then called the next day asking for the cat back! Do I have to give her back?
– I want to keep the cat!!
Dear I want to keep the cat,
Not a fun situation. My first impulse is to say “sure, keep the cat!” That’s the easy response that is only thinking about the poor cat and you. Because you are looking for an opinion, I would guess that there is something in you that is also considering your ex’s feelings or your own feelings about being fair.
The number one priority is the cat. Is he safe with your Ex? Was dropping him off only an excuse to see you? If the answer to both of those questions is “Yes!” – then you’ll need to dig a little deeper into your own feelings. Ugh! Just kidding – but for some people it can be hard! If the answer is “No!”, keep the cat!! Hands down.
It’s good to let your feelings influence you, but not control you. Some questions to ask yourself to uncover your feelings include, why did I let him keep the cat in the first place? Are those reasons still valid? Is sharing the cat a consideration? If so, how would that work? Whatever you decide to do, be true to and value your own feelings and needs. If you share the cat, or give him back, set down ground rules – let him know if he does it again, you will not give the cat back!
Good luck working this out. You’ll find the right answer for you and the cat!